Movie Mamas
May 9th 2008 12:54
What are you planning to do with your mother this Mother’s Day (Sunday, 11th May)? Take her to a spa? Out for lunch? Shopping? To a shooting range? May I suggest: a bottle of wine, petit fours and a DVD or two? You can’t go wrong, especially with my carefully prepared selection guide. Simply find the category that best fits your mum, select one of the movies listed below, and give thanks for her maternal blessing.
Psycho
Mommie Dearest: Be grateful she never beat you with wire hangers.
Razzle Dazzle: Be grateful she doesn’t wear matching sequins.
Bad Boy Bubby: Be grateful she let you outside.
Carrie: Be grateful she didn’t lock you in a cupboard for hitting puberty.
Harlot
Forrest Gump: Be grateful you learned your ABCs without her shagging about.
American Pie: Be grateful she hasn’t bonked your mates.
Plays Favourites
Babe: Be grateful she doesn’t prefer a pig over you.
Sophie’s Choice: Be grateful she didn’t give you to the Nazis.
Bitch
Titanic: Be grateful she hasn’t left you to drown.
Sybil: Be grateful she hasn’t caused you to develop thirteen personalities.
Strange
Meed the Fockers: Be grateful she didn’t keep your foreskin.
The Addams Family: Be grateful she isn’t friends with a severed hand.
About A Boy: Be grateful she didn’t make you wear fugly hats.
Now aren’t we all appreciating our mothers more! Unless of course, she has done all of the above, in which case, please go paint-balling instead.
I’m lucky. My mama is legendary.
Michaelie Clark
Psycho
Mommie Dearest: Be grateful she never beat you with wire hangers.
Razzle Dazzle: Be grateful she doesn’t wear matching sequins.
Bad Boy Bubby: Be grateful she let you outside.
Wire hangers are evil! Image courtesy of tvgasm.com
Harlot
Forrest Gump: Be grateful you learned your ABCs without her shagging about.
American Pie: Be grateful she hasn’t bonked your mates.
Stifler's Mom picks up - Image courtesy of moldova.org
Babe: Be grateful she doesn’t prefer a pig over you.
Sophie’s Choice: Be grateful she didn’t give you to the Nazis.
Favourite of the litter - Image coutesy of utexas.edu
Bitch
Titanic: Be grateful she hasn’t left you to drown.
Sybil: Be grateful she hasn’t caused you to develop thirteen personalities.
Yes, Mother - Image courtesy of online.no
Strange
Meed the Fockers: Be grateful she didn’t keep your foreskin.
The Addams Family: Be grateful she isn’t friends with a severed hand.
About A Boy: Be grateful she didn’t make you wear fugly hats.
Matching fugliness - Image courtesy of bbc.co.uk
Now aren’t we all appreciating our mothers more! Unless of course, she has done all of the above, in which case, please go paint-balling instead.
I’m lucky. My mama is legendary.
Michaelie Clark
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Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
I feel 106 on a good day...and no special day for me!!
cheers and how about Bette Davis as a mother????
fog
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
what about the mum out of muriels wedding, she always makes me sad!
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Raven
Comment by Joseph R. Terrazzino
In America, the TV blares "Go Outback tonight!" LOL.
Good restaurant, but I wonder if Australia has a similar place: maybe . . .
American Squalor (questionably edible fast food) or
Overbearing Bush Brunch (texas barbecue and gun belts full of tater tots) or
Those Fucking Americans (multinational stolen cuisine from various countries)?
Later
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Tracy
Ah yes, Sweaty Betty as a mother, I agree with Fog, that would be an apt addition
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Abroad for Mother's Day, what a great way to spend it! I hope I'm still able to get to the toilet, let alone the US of A when I'm that age.
What do you mean, no special day for you? Didn't Stella give you a present? Some pug appreciation? Kids these days!
It's strange that both Bette and Joan were outed as bad mothers by their daughters. And they were in a poisonous, almost-mother-daughter relationship themselves in Baby Jane.
Michaelie
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Yeah me too! In fact, I cry pretty much every time I see Muriel because of the mother. When Muriel doesn't notice her at the wedding. When she's faced with 'the other woman' all the time. And most of all, for some reason, when she accidentally steals the shoes from the supermarket.
SO sad!
Michaelie
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
...let's hope it's somewhere divine then, and that she's at peace. I miss my mum all the time, and she's only a phonecall away...
Michaelie
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
I like the Psycho category too. And really, my mama can be a nutter sometimes! Not quite that much of a nutter though.
HAHA well, we have McDonalds, isn't that enough?
Thanks Joseph!
Michaelie
Comment by Morgan Bell
Science News
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Thanks!
Michaelie
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Scary stuff...
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by ratchet
make believe
Life As We Know It
Carrie's mum scared me much more than her daughter ever could. And the mother from 'White Oleander' was a narcissistic bitch who'd never win Mother of the Year. Special mention must also go to Garp's mum in The World According to Garp. Although she wasn't evil, just weird.
oh, and I had hair down to my bum, so I endured many days of twirly German shepherdess braids.
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
What about Robin Wright Penn in White Oleander for a crazed foster mother? There were a few mother figures in that movie actually, who deserve a mention.
Garp - I read a review of the book somewhere, and I think that mother sounded mighty interesting!
Thank you
Michaelie
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Can you believe I forgot Mothers Day? GASSSSSPPPPP!!!!! What an awful daughter I am!
BUt I`m overseas and they celebrate Mothers Day in March here so I`m hoping for a little leeway when I finally pluck up the courage to make the phone call home!
But she used to make my sisters and I dress in matching polka-dot dresses so perhaps that counts for forgetting one mothers day in a while!
Ash
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
I have given this serious consideration, and think you should be absolved, just this once, for forgetting, due to the O/S factor, and most certainly, the unfortunate polka dots.
Michaelie