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They Should At Least Pretend To Act, Too

September 13th 2007 21:18
As a follow-up to my last post, I’m going to carry on with a list of the worst of the worst in the acting world. These are the people who should never have gotten their hands on a script, unless that script was for medication to cure their delusions.

THEY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON
Sarah Michelle Gellar
The only thing she did well was Cruel Intentions, playing a manipulative femme fatale with high sexual/hatred intensity.
Freddie Prinze Junior
Even worse than his little missus. Plenty of second-rate teen flicks under his belt, to which he contributed nothing of substance.


A good match. Courtesy of eonline.com

THEY SHOULD STICK TO WHAT THEY KNOW
Madonna
She is controversial and she can make music, everything else about her is ludicrous, including her many attempts at acting.
Jessica Simpson
I couldn’t make it through either The Dukes of Hazzard or Employee of the Month, and that’s saying a lot since it’s not often I don’t finish a movie, book or chocolate bar once I start. Word is she’s taking my advice though, and heading back to her musical roots.
Mariah Carey
Extremely annoying, comes across as self indulgent and self involved. Glitter was a travesty, and the worst bit – she’s got another movie on the way!

Tara Reid
Best known for a bad boob job, her own repeated public confirmations of her brainlessness, and her ‘presence’ in American Pie. How does she call herself an actress? She’s now doing commercials for budget internet provider Dodo.
Jennifer Lopez
Looked like she had strained her neck all the way through Shall We Dance, and had absolutely no connection with Ralph Fiennes in Maid in Manhattan.
Lindsey Lohan
She probably shouldn’t stick to what she knows, since that is limited to cocaine, car crashes and train wrecks, but should also ‘steer clear’ of another Mean Girls or Freaky Friday.
Paris Hilton
Isn’t even any good when she’s playing herself (or with herself), in such things as Zoolander, The Simple Life and of course – A Night In Paris. The only good thing she did in House of Wax was die a terrible death.

Bravo! Courtesy of cinemorgue.com

JUST NOT PUSHING THE JOKING ENVELOPE
Matthew Perry
Poor, over-done delivery in the sitcom Friends, and has several bad romantic comedies, the names of which understandably escape me.
Rob Schneider
Wasn’t so bad (or so good) after swapping bodies in The Hot Chick, but Deuce Bigalow movies where terrible. Often plays a small, strange man, which is really rather fitting on reflection.

Surely they don't get any worse than this.

Michaelie Clark
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Comments
18 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by JoH

September 13th 2007 22:47
Mariah Carey definitely takes the cake, closely followed by Jessica Simpson.......maybe they should just stick to what they do best...............what is that again?? ;0

Comment by KylieW

September 14th 2007 01:11
Another excellent list.

Mariah Carey is TERRIBLE. I can't believe they're putting her in another movie!!

I managed to make it through Dukes of Hazzard.....but that was only due to Johnny Knoxville.

Freddy Prinze Jr - well, I did love She's All That (I wasn't kidding when I said that I love bad movies!). But he can't act. At all.

And Paris Hilton......well, when you even make porn boring, it's time to give away acting. I can't believe that she's got another movie coming out too.

I actually think that Lindsay Lohan is a reasonable actor. In fact, if she got her shit together she could be a good one. But she's too much of a trainwreck. I actually enjoyed Mean Girls. It was no Heathers, which it tried to be.....but I liked it.

Comment by Aimzster

September 14th 2007 02:57
Grrrr..don't get me started about Buffy. I hate Buffy with a vengeance - might have to do with getting locked out of the house, throwing stones at my window trying to get hubby's attention which was caught up by Buffy's breasts. But anyway, I digress...what about Keanu Reeves? Wooden!!
PS. Agree with everything on your list. But by far, Mariah Carey is the worst actress among them. I mean, she's bad acting in her video clips, let alone a whole movie.

Comment by Anonymous

September 14th 2007 03:59
i too agree - esp with keanu being wooden, such a shame considering he's nice to look at...

and you know who else i don't like, not so much for his acting, rather the fact that he always plays an epic hero saving the world from destruction and death...

blurgh

Comment by Michaelie

September 14th 2007 05:11
JoH,

What they know best:

Mariah Carey - Being a diva in a see-through dress.

Jessica Simpson - nothing, which is why she asks so many inane questions. "Is tuna a chicken or a fish?"

Thanks, Jo!

Michaelie

Comment by Michaelie

September 14th 2007 05:14
I'm getting to understand your love of bad movies, and guess what? ...I have She's All That on DVD. DON'T TELL ANYONE!

Michaelie

Comment by Michaelie

September 14th 2007 05:35
Aimzster,

See! That's how Sarah Michelle Geller succeeds. She combines kick-ass with cleavage, mesmerises her male audience, and hey presto! She's got star power without ever lifting a finger in the acting stakes.

And all the while, poor, helpless creature, you're stuck outside, in the dark, and the snow (just say), desperately throwing pebbles about, trying to get inside before you perish - perish! - on the cold, hard cobbles of the street, like the Little Match Girl...

The woman is a menace. They should change the show from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to Vampire the Buffy Slayer, in the interests of the greater good.

Thank you, Aimzster, for sharing your tale of woe.



Michaelie

Comment by Michaelie

September 14th 2007 15:57
Anonymous,

I really don't like Keanu Reeves. You're right, very wooden - though I don't think he's all that beautiful either. He's been in some terrible movies. The Lake House would have to be his nadir.

Thanks for the comment!

Michaelie

Comment by MelissaA

September 19th 2007 12:13
I'd be adding Elle McPherson who apparently had a lot of her scenes cut out of a movie she was so bad.

Comment by Michaelie

September 19th 2007 17:23
Melissa,

Nice suggestion! Terrible actress - especially in those paid presentation commercials. But wasn't too bad as the bitch Blanche in Jane Eyre.

Good to see you!

Michaelie

Comment by Cibbuano

September 19th 2007 21:44
yeah, those are some awful actors.

Though I haven't seen Lindsay Lohan in any of her popular stuff, I did catch her supporting role in A Prairie Home Companion... and I was shocked to see that she was able to hold her own with Meryl Streep and the gang.

Is it her ability, or just the influence of the fantastic cast and the outstanding director?

Comment by Michaelie

September 20th 2007 06:04
Cibbuano,

I'm going for the latter. Although she's not as bad (at acting) as the other car-crashing drug-doing Hollywood messes (I mean 'misses'), I can't see that quality coming from her naturally. I suspect it was wrenched from her and shaped according by a canny Altman. The contrast is just too great when you look at things like her Freaky Friday remake. That said, she wasn't so bad as a child-actor - it just doesn't seem she's progressed all that much.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Michaelie

Comment by Kellie

October 1st 2007 06:44
Rob Schneider - would have to be the WORST excuse for an actor.

Another I hate would be Adam Sandler (Friend of Rob Schneider). He had a few OK movies, but i'm sure at some point he will be added to the list!

Comment by Michaelie

October 1st 2007 06:53
Hello Kellie!

Adam Sandler - yes. Why does he talk like that? He doesn't open his mouth properly and kind of talks like a baby. He's funny every now and then tho.

Thanks for swinging by, my love!

Michaelie

Comment by JohnDoe

October 3rd 2007 06:41
Whats amazing is how plastic surgery affected Jennifer Lopez's acting because Selena, Blood and Wine, Out of Sight and U-Turn all had her performing quite well...then her nose got smaller and she has sucked ever since.

Comment by Michaelie

October 3rd 2007 07:37
My God you're onto something, JD! it's happened to others too - remember Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing?

Michaelie

Comment by JohnDoe

October 3rd 2007 09:01
Jennifer Grey's surgery is scary, they completely rearranged her face so she doesnt even look like herself...heavy self esteem issues there.

Comment by Michaelie

October 4th 2007 06:35
Very true. And she went from hottest new thing to nobody in the slash of a scalpel!

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